Billy Kaplan

I teleported Tommy and me from my bedroom to my front yard once. Wanda, please teach me how to teleport from here to London because I might actually die if I can't see this.

There are black and white cookies from my favorite UWS bakery in the kitchen. Get one before they're gone.

I hear this is the place to meet people, so hey. I'm Billy. You might know me as Asgardian (prize to anyone who suggests a good nickname that keeps me off the radars of various government agencies). Or possibly as the Baconator. I hear that caught some attention here. Sadly, I have to report that there are some problems even Bacon can't solve.

Anyways, semester's done, so I'm more or less here for a while. Feel free to stop by and say 'hey.'

Lorna: I had nothing to do with the mess that the pantry is in.

Everyone else: I had nothing to do with the hyperactive pawns that did. (Also, I wouldn't advise opening that door.)

Before anyone comments, I will be wearing flip-flops to class today out of necessity. Somehow, over the past few weeks, I've managed to break the shoelaces on every pair of shoes I own.

Totally unrelated, if anyone fancies a trip into town this afternoon, company is welcome.

A third of the way through December and no snowy incidents. Aren't you all proud?

Amanda, I think I found a topic for our next lesson.

tyromancy (noun): a form of divination involving observation of cheese, especially as it coagulates.

Sorry, you'll have to come back later, we're trying to escape.

Look here's something. 'Esc-a-pay.' I wonder what that means? It's funny, it's spelled just like the word 'escape.'